What's in a name

Opening of a bank account - simple, right? Well, in China nothing is ever simple. It took almost two hours and four sets of forms to open a legal bank account for Wolfecarmenchristine. Who's that? That's now my name according to my bank, see below for their logic.

Name 1: Carmen Wolfe.
Fairly standard wouldn't you say? Here's the loosely translated response I got when I handed the attendant my forms: "Poor little foreigner - do you not know that you're in China? You see, in China, we use Chinese names, you know, with Chinese characters. Please fill out the form again using your correct name."

(Tear up forms, fill out new ones while attendant works on account)

Name 2: 武凯萌
This is my standard Chinese name - a basic transliteration of my English name into Chinese characters that I use on all legal forms in China including school ID and police registration. As official as it sounds though, it's simply a made up name given to me by my former roommate that I have changed several times on whims to make it easier to remember. The Chinese name seemed to be sufficient until I handed over my passport and the attendant couldn't locate my Chinese name in it. She was suprised to find out that the American government doesn't legally recognize the fabricated Chinese names of American citizens. "Try again, please use the name in your passport."

(Tear up forms, fill out new forms as disgruntled patron walks up to the window where I'm sitting and begins to breathe on my neck)

Name 3: Carmen Christine Wolfe
That's as official as it gets. I feel confident and add it to all four required forms. All is well until they look at my Chinese visa. Sure enough, in traditional Chinese style, the name on my visa is listed with my last name on the first line, followed by my first and middle names below. Attendent in pitying tone: "Poor little foreigner, in China, we write our family name first, how could you not know? Sorry, but you'll have to do this again, correctly."

(Tear up forms, fill out new forms, man behind me physically scoots me and my papers over so that he can do his business while I finish)

Name 4: Wolfecarmenchristine
Tired of form filling, I complete everything except the name and then pass it over to the attendent along with my passport and tell her to write whatever she thinks my name should be. This is what she wrote, so this is what it is.

The three upsides to this experiences are 1) It's fun to have a new signature - I was tired of my old one anyways, and 2) I finally memorized my home address, and 3) Easy access to money - convenient to me, dangerous to my account balance.